Random topics

Why aren't there any conventions in JB?

There's plenty in KL, but JB is quite populated too, no?

Especially with teenagers. ComicCon would be cool.

Gah.


I thought that having nothing to do would mean more hours spent on the computer, but on the contrary I actually spend a lot less time online. I've been spending my hours sleeping, or whining that I don't have anything to do. And watching TV as well.

See, prior to Runescape's slow death, I spent a hell lot of time playing despite being busy. But now that I'm completely free, everything decided to die.

I now log on to check all the forums I'm registered on, the news, perhaps IRC, several more websites, and then that's it. I would be proud of this a month ago, but I've decided I'm not so proud of this right now.

I could've sworn that RS's death has lots to do with the Guiness World Record. Anyone else notice this?

Nerr.


So recently I've been spending my time on YouTube, and even then I feel so sorry that people who put awesome videos out aren't getting enough attention, and bloody Disney characters as well as unfunny people are getting too much. For some reason, I have never been a person for the overrated.

And then there are these trolls on YouTube that make me feel all sorry for them as well. Random unjustified calls like "fag" being the most common, it spells nothing but failed troll, flamer wannabe.

I probably wouldn't care if they gave a bloody good reason why they accused the OP of being a fag, I might actually applaud that. Unfortunately they end their comment at "fag". Damnation.

Damn damned the damning damn for causing the damned to be damned by a damnation.

That actually made sense.


I was browsing through my old posts and I noticed that they are much more interesting... *sigh*

Cheers,
- Fire ninja out.

Acting FAIL

Today's skit was a flop.

The end.


Softball next week I think. [Yeah, I know, softball again?]

And I love Marmite.

Counter-Strike!
- Fire ninja out.

I'm going to hell.

The special kind of hell.

I'm seriously a bad Christian. I'm not sure if God even acknowledges me as one at all. I was contemplating if I should just be a good Atheist and go to hell instead of being a bad Christian and going to hell anyway. I haven't talked to my parents yet but here are my reasons why.

Today I watched a documentary about the seven signs of the apocalypse. It was very interesting indeed, and it made me feel that little bit depressed although I knew about the 2012 thing and that I was going to die anyway.

However, it made me think about me being a Christian. The documentary was focused not only on the Apocalypse, but the seven signs from the book of Revelations particularly. I asked a little here and there about heaven and hell, and I just remembered how infrequently I pray... It was also then that I noticed I was making use of this faith negatively; ergo I am a bad Christian.

I mostly prayed only when I had to, or if I had things going tough and I had to speak to a friend. For this reason I thought that if I am to go to hell as a bad Christian, I would rather go to hell as a good non-religious person.

It was pointed out to me that you would be judged, Christian or non-Christian, at the "Pearly Gates". I might have this wrong, however if you are learned please correct me on this. I was told that if you're a non-Christian and you were a really, really good person you could be allowed into heaven. However, if you were a tad more sinful than that you would be sent to hell. Meaning, should you have been the same kind of person but a Christian, you can't go to Heaven, but unfortunately you weren't one so you're going to hell.

I think there has been a lot more misinterpretation there than how God really is. I'm sure he'll let anyone that's pure in their core into Heaven. I truly believe that everyone I know are good people, and they would never do or have done anything evil enough to not be allowed into Heaven.

Otherwise, if there hasn't been any misinterpretation at all, I feel sorry that God did not give good, non-Christians a chance to live the rest of their celestial lives with Him. I mean, he can't be that exclusive that he wouldn't allow other good people into Heaven. Right?


I realized I had very strong faith in God. That goes without a doubt, but when I had breaks from school, no prayers were said at all. Also I won't lie, I have lost faith. I can't believe it if you told me every other Christian has never lost faith. That's bullshit. No matter how devout a Christian you are, I'm sure there'll be times where you have plain forgotten about God. As horrible as it sounds, I'm quite confident this happens. You get in a small car accident, you firstly check if you have your limbs attached. You forgot your homework, you go "Shite, I'm getting that demerit now...". See, why don't you ask, "God, please help me!"?

My circumstances are similar, however it's a bit different. During my very trying times I had forgotten about Him. It wasn't that I forgot him easily - I believe I notice his presence everyday, but there are just times where I did not think of asking for help, or simply talking to him. So strong faith, but not a praying person. Which brings back the "I'm a bad Christian" argument.


There's a lot of things to God that I don't quite understand, and I suppose should I "sever" ties with him from here on, I will never understand it. I think it is impossible for me to live without faith - being characterised similarly to a dog I guess that's part of who I am. It could also be a valid reason why I should stay a person faithful to God, however distant I should be from him.

Hence the argument again.


Anyway, most mind-boggling question right off my head:

God is a figure of love. So why does God send good people to hell because they're not Christians? [Possible misinterpretation, ignore if false]


Sigh. It's official.
I'm at crossroads between my faith and what will become of the rest of my life.


Do I pick guilt over a more wholesome life in the future?

Or should I live happily and freely, however lonely I should become?


Should I pick the latter, I could go back to what I was in the past, a shell of inferiority and loneliness.

However should I carry on with this life I'm living - guilt, knowing that I'm a bad religious person - I am not much of a better person albeit in a different way.


I wonder what made me become such an oddball of a Christian today? Why am I such a faithful person to God but yet so equally distant? Is it the lack of my enjoyment at church when I was younger?

I wonder if the pushiness of certain people [Not my parents, don't worry...] had something to do with this as well. They'd always insist that no matter how bad I'm feeling about certain things, I was doing it for God. I don't like this theory. If I was doing something lovely for God, yet I feel miserable whilst doing so and do not enjoy the outcome of whatever it was, how is this for Him?

Probably didn't make sense there, but this is what I mean: Say I took part in a Christmas concert dance, dancing to a Christian band song. I show up everyday without fail, however with a black face, even darker than the night sky. I don't enjoy the dance, and I lack enthusiasm.

If I lacked enthusiasm dancing for God, I would just be doing a string of emotionless motions to a song I probably don't like any more, listening to it for the dozenth time.


The concerned person probably didn't notice that I could be a potentially different person today should they have ironed things out and let me have a great time with the problem solved. Instead I end up sullen, guilty, unenthusiastic and unfaithful. Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming them for what I have become today, but it's just a thought that my life could be different should things have changed slightly.


So this is yet another personal entry... apologies for the controversial topic I guess.

School later, ~ three hours.

Cheers,
- Fire ninja out.

Old school Vloggers

To all the old school vloggers out there, you shouldn't have stopped.

Including LG15, there shouldn't be a reason to not stick around. Competition? Big deal. [FYI I never got Smosh, so I have no idea what they are.]

Nobody seems to put out quality videos any more. The only ones that do happen to be whatever's left of the "old school" vloggers of '06.

Does no one agree with me that YouTube content has gone from bad to worse lately? Disney characters can fuck off YouTube because they already have stardom IRL, leave the internet for the normal folk.

You would not deserve whatever AdSense money, views, subscribers or ratings if most of that had "help" from your stardom IRL. Have you not considered that normal folk need to build subs from ground up, when you already have it at the palm of your hand? You can put out crap and people would watch you. You can have nude pictures of yourself and no one would judge you. You can rap worse than TheHill88 did and get millions more views than she did. What the fuck?

CLOSE YOUR BLOODY YOUTUBE ACCOUNTS.


I'm not expecting to be read from here on. This is pure and personal, I would not like to be judged or misunderstood about the following. Please take it however its written because I don't mean it negatively. This is a constructive entry, if you happen to find my tiny blog and feel that I'm addressing you, don't take offense.


Thanks a lot 3E crew and the opportunity, God.

Talking a lot makes me sick. I have to get this off my chest however. I hope this doesn't come across as reverse arrogance or anything pertaining to inferiority. I have lots of self-esteem so bugger off.

I know deep inside that someone had more shit [POI's] to cope with and spoke better than I did. [And possibly can.]

Why, because I know I don't have that level of boldness, I know I don't have that courage, I know I don't have that artistic character; it will never be the same having people of different characters speak on stage. Theatrics versus personality. I'll just go right ahead and say it.

No bull here, the someone is the perfect representative of whatever a public speaker should be. All the elements to a public speaker - there is no doubt to it. It's the exact reason why she was the best public speaker on Thursday.

I'm quite sure that from her background, she would have had some form of confidence on-stage and dared to literally act to her speech - instead of having the speech make her act. This is what I meant by theatrics, it is some form of acting.

However, for whoever else who may be unlucky enough to come in her way, personality will never win over theatrics. Your personality may not necessarily be the correct representative of a public speaker. The actress will, more often than not, be seen to be a buffed version of your raw persona on stage.

From my point of view, she came second in debate [or close!] because she was not able to restrain her inner drama queen. Any signs of short-temper is an instant deal-breaker for most judges. She may not have been able to take banters as well as some of us had, however with practise, nurture and sweat she could easily outshine the rest of the country.

In layman terms, if she is able to think on her feet calmly, she may just become the very best debater of the country.

Addressing the others, I felt that everyone outdid themselves. By the second debate the audience had lost interest and I think the students should have placed high energy students more evenly.

And you. Pay bloody attention to the speakers when they're speaking. I'm not just saying this because I was on stage. Remember that I had little interest in speaking until the very last second because I originally had no kaki. I appreciate that in the first debate everyone paid attention, later however, the yapping and lack of eye contact made the best speakers I've heard from Convent felt intimidated.

I know why you lost interest in round two. If it were the same people from round one debating this second topic, everyone would still have their yaps shut. I'm sure it's evident, although nobody noticed, that what you perceive someone to be from your observation cannot always apply to them on stage. I think everyone will be a different person on stage, you could have a timid friend of years and not expect them to be the emcee for some big corporate dinner.

I'm just saying, at least give the speaker the minimal attention they deserve, along with the two minutes of your evaluation time. It's their short five minutes on-stage, but your two minutes of talk could wait some other time, theirs can't. Just give them that two minutes, if you don't like them you go right ahead and switch off.

Again, I'm not acting like some bloody big shot, but I'm just sharing whatever's worth of my two cents, coupled with the fact that this blog will hardly be seen unless you stalked me through links from other people's blogs.


Suddenly digressing, I don't like Craig Harper. I found out about him a while ago, when a video Brit's Got Talent posted of him got featured. He can't tell where his show ends. Your performance is over when you're done singing. Learn. If it's time for judging, the stage is not yours any more. It was awkward when the judges had to tell him to stfu, he simply didn't know when to stop.

Sleep time, good night.

Cheers,
- Fire ninja out.

Haircut

I'm kinda expecting stupid questions like,

"You got a haircut?!"
"Hey, did you get a haircut?"

Unless there's been an Edward Scissorhands around town, creeping on sleeping girls and snipping off their hair, the obvious answer is yes, I did obviously cut my hair.

Is it some sort of a compulsive thing when people ask that question?


Anyway, I found public speaking to not be half bad. While that confidence is jotted down in the insides of my skull, I must say that whatever hopes I might have had as a speaker have been reduced to dust. Quite an unfortunate thing, but story of my life.

Later on is debate [and rehearsal], I find that to be more interesting.

I guess it's because of my nature to want to banter, or perhaps my love for Science. You can't convict a heavily tattooed man just because he looks like a murderer, debate is no different.

I guess one Sheldon Cooper had something to do with this. You should not mess around with physicists, if they reply they may just fry your brain, much like River Tam easily can.

Inner geek aside, I also think debate is more upbeat than public speaking possibly can be. It's like in softball when you see a baseman chasing a batter. You can never see that in other games! It's never quite as funny.

Caitlin Hill semi-stopped making videos, despite The Plan. How sad is that? Caitlin and "team", please don't stop making videos! Keep hanging around like an old hag until you die. I didn't subscribe for years in vain.

Sigh. The inner geek comes out.

5:48 am

Cheers,
- Fire ninja out.